Examples and Behaviour

There continues to be a great deal in the news about behaviour, be it the business dealings and personal lives of political leaders, the language and behaviour of members of Parliament, or the behaviour of police in serious investigations. It seems that in many cases the behaviour of those we should be looking up to as people who behave honestly and honourably, falls short of what we should expect. We may all have our own stories about what we have seen or experienced in our lives and communities which, for us, constitutes bad behaviour. The problem is that most of us would never consider ourselves to be badly behaved…it is always ‘them others’!

I often work with groups of children’s workers and parents exploring with them how to manage the behavior of children, and how to get young children to behave consistently well. We discussed boundaries and guidelines, sticking to the word ‘no‘ if we need to, and avoiding confrontation. One of the key areas we explored was the example we, as adults and leaders, set the children. If children are asked or encouraged to be patient, generous and kind, yet they see the adults around them being rude, aggressive and selfish then they will naturally follow the examples they see. When the young, like us, see the behaviour that sometimes goes on in parliament, or the behaviour of individual leaders, they could easily get the impression that it is acceptable, and start to behave in the same way.

None of us are exempt from loosing our tempers, being a bit selfish, or crossing the line of behavior from time to time. Those who lead us have a particular responsibility to moderate their language and behaviour. But we all share in the need to set a positive example to the children and young people we are blessed and called to work with.